Lose your marbles

“But He will reply, “I don’t know you or where you came from.  Away from me you evildoers!  There will be weeping and gnashing of teeth when you see Abraham, Isaac and Jacob and all the prophets in the kingdom of God, but you yourselves will be thrown out.  Luke 13:28 NIV

Back in the day our second grade daughter looked at me and said “Dad, I need a sewer.  What is your friends name?”  Apparently, she and her boyfriend were breaking up and she thought she might need representation.  Yes, I said second grade.  There was apparently some communal property involved, a ring from a candy machine if I remember correctly and she wanted to keep it.  She was talking about my friend Paul, who is a lawyer, but sue-er is not as funny as sewer.

When I met Paul, we were on a bus headed home from a Promise Keepers Conference.  We hit it off and even came up with the “perfect” plan to help hold each other accountable for changes we wanted to make in our faith walk. 

He came to my office one day that week and dropped a bag of marbles on my desk and then two containers, one glass and one plastic.  The idea was to self-evaluate each day to determine whether it was one spent from a worldly view or an eternal view.  The glass container was to represent a “good” day, while the plastic container represented “it’ll burn one day”.  We would get together to discuss the results. 

When we announced our plan, the rest of our accountability group told us it was a dumb idea for several spiritually based reasons.  Most importantly, I can never do anything to warrant a day in heaven.  Grace is unmerited favor offered only through Jesus, a great day won’t get me there.  A hundred great days won’t get me there.  It’s grace.  If I think I can earn it, I negate the need for Jesus and I do not want to negate Him in any way. 

In spite of the knowledge that we were wrong, we pressed on with our evaluation, which I realize makes no sense whatsoever but ironically, we probably put a marble in the glass jar because we didn’t quit.  On the last day of our little experiment, we compared containers.  I had not placed very many marbles in the glass, bound for heaven container.  He had not placed many in the plastic, burn in Hell jar. 

It was a perfect demonstration of perspective in our daily walk with God.  I was condemning myself if I did anything I considered not good enough.  His perspective told him that he could show evidence that he deserved to go to heaven.  Jesus would surely see the good.  But Jesus can see everyone, even those who do not know Him.  Full disclosure, I still have my containers and marbles in a box in the storage room, just to remind myself.

I am 61 years old.  Old.  But if I am being honest, I have never completely stopped judging myself.  The little voice in my head saying “Just not good enough boy” has been tempered by age and the clear recognition of my own lack of self-sufficiency, but I still judge myself.  Why?

Have you ever considered that we can never “earn” anything above eternity in Hell?  Nothing.

I used to think of that as a recurring defeat.  How can I be good enough?  Simple, I cannot.  But if I know Jesus as my Savior, He will know me.  He can know you too.

Challenge:  We can work.  We can earn.  We can accomplish great things.  But the chasm between deserving Hell but being given Heaven is not navigable without Jesus. 

Rick Claiborn