People, places and things

“Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.” Proverbs 31:11 NIV

I find myself sitting in our house after returning from a day on the road. The day was not productive in terms of sales. Although I would prefer it not to, it does happen sometimes. I had a three hour drive home to think about what to write. I hope I can make some sense of it.

I pulled up to a house today and saw that we had a common interest. He had an older truck parked in front of his house, you couldn’t miss it. It was a hand painted Chiefs themed Chevy. When I say hand printed it was not air brushed or anything. It looked like he used a paint roller. It was a hot mess, but it was apparent that he was an authentic fan of the Kansas City Chiefs. We had a good chat about my hometown team.

He had sent in a card indicating an interest in buying a plan to pay for a funeral. That’s what I do. But his face changed as he said “You’re too late. She died.” I spent the next hour literally at a loss for words. He told me about her cancer and how hospice had been invited into the home five years ago. That lasted until she decided she did not need it. He came home to find that she had made them leave. She “decided” she was going to live, which was exactly what they did for 5 years and they soaked in every second.

A couple of months ago it caught up to her. He told me about the time he and their son had spent caring for her. It was not a pleasant experience. The two of them decided no one else was needed and they did everything for her in 12 hour shifts, seven days a week for two months. He described the exhaustion. He described the love he saw in her and in their son. He was a very proud father.

He asked me if he could show me something and the tour began. If you know me well you know that I usually do not run short on words. I may not have said 10 words in that hour long tour. I have learned that loss of a human is unique to every human. I have never lost a spouse, but I have lost a daughter and many friends and family members. None of them were married to him. He needed to talk about her.

I think my job is a rare gift from God. I have the ability to do it which is both helpful and a blessing. I would not have designed this job from scratch. I would have never thought about the combination of emotions and personalities. Honestly, I do not think I would have been enthusiastic about the opportunities to throw open my heart to a stranger. I would have not thought about complete strangers throwing their heart open to me.

He stood there weeping and he needed to vent. I managed to ask him if he had a church family or any friends that he could spent some time with. He looked at me and just said “People, places and things.” When he caught his breath he told me “every person, every place and every thing reminds me of her.” They were married for around five decades. Literally everything reminds him of her. He said he would rather cry at home than cry in public, so he stays home for now.

Then he asked me, “Do you have any idea what your spouse is worth to you? Does she know what she is worth to you?” At this point I was still just listening. But he looked me straight in the eye and grabbed my hand. He was an older man trying to convince a not so much younger one to learn something. He just said “No job. No promotion. No amount of money. No thing you can buy is worth what she is.” He used present tense because he was not talking about his wife anymore. He was talking about mine.

I really never said much for the entire conversation. I’ve been choking back emotions since I left his house. As my wife reads this tomorrow morning she will have an answer in her heart about that question. I need to listen for her answer.

Sweet wife, do you have any idea what you are worth to me?

Does my life show you that no job, no promotion, no amount of money – no thing I can buy is worth what you are to me?

Challenge: Actually examining life through the eyes of the gift God gave me. If I can manage that, realignment of any area where I have it confused should become easier.

Rick Claiborn