Wrestling with God

“But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.” John 14:26 NIV

I graduated from high school in 1982. Right after dirt showed up. Most of my best memories involve participation in activities, specifically football and wrestling. I did not start wrestling until my sophomore year, which is very late. Most really good wrestlers start much younger. It takes a lot of time to learn the sport.

My high school was unique. I attended Sumner Academy of Arts and Science, which was created by Brown vs Topeka Board of Education, desegregation. The old Sumner high school was closed and the new school opened with kids bused in from all over the city. Since we were a new school our varsity sports teams started well behind some of the other schools in the district. I only mention this because had I went to the school I would have attended if Sumner had not opened, I may have never been able to participate. I may not have been good enough. I am glad it worked out this way.

Our first day of wrestling practice I remember our coach asking out loud how many of us had ever wrestled – no hands went up. He had his work cut out for him. He worked our tails off. My skill level was low, but we were all in great physical condition. He also enlisted the help of one of the wrestlers from his former high school.

His name was David Featherstone. His primary job was to work with the upper weight classes. He was well known in our city and deservedly so. He was extremely good. But he also knew how to teach. I remember he talked to us while he wrestled us, not trash talk – he taught us on the fly.

He knew more than us and we all knew to listen. He had more experience and was just better. But I remember he would ask us while we worked why we did this or that and then explain why it did not work. He would tell us what he was going to do to us to see if we knew how to counter it. If we didn’t – more drills, more explaining. We got a lot better very quickly because of him.

It is a stretch to compare the two issues, but I have been thinking about it all day. I have been wrestling with God, not listening for Him. I can be fooled thinking something that has me worried is just me prayerfully considering it. Instead, it might be my lack of trust talking. I know God knows more than me. I know He is in better shape to handle literally every situation I will ever face. He will guide me to eventually see whatever it is He wants me to see, but me constantly telling Him what I think I need is not always helpful. Prayer requests are good, but not stopping long enough to listen to the Master just makes me miss what He is trying to show me.

I think I have been thinking too much about what - or who - I am missing. I think it is obvious we will miss our daughter for the rest of our lives. I think that is natural and normal. But I think it can bleed into other areas of life and I will allow myself to start talking more than I am listening. God can handle my questions, but He wants me to trust Him in whatever He is doing. He is better than me.

What situation or issue takes up the bulk of your thought life?

Do you allow time to listen as often as you make time to ask about it? I struggle with this.

Challenge: There are plenty of things to get shaken up about. Maybe all the uncertainty and unsolvable issues we see are what He using to point us all back towards Him. Questions are okay. Blessings are okay. Answers are okay but not always given. My challenge is sometimes keeping my eyes on the teacher instead of always looking for the answer.

Rick Claiborn