"And" vs. "Or"

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed – or indeed only one.  Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”  Luke 10:41-42 NIV

    When I switched jobs around 20 years ago my schedule went from having a job with an insatiable appetite for hours to one that offered a schedule that included some time off every week.  A job working in public recreation was great in a lot of areas, but it can also own your time. 

     My wife made me promise her something.  She just said, “You are going to have some free time that we are not used to.  Don’t fill it with anything for at least a year.”  She knew I could get a little lost in the possibilities to be involved in any of several areas volunteering in the community.  It was a little difficult.  Big Brothers Big Sisters, community activities, church groups, etc., are all great causes.  She knew me well enough to know that my mind would fill up quickly.  That promise made my schedule remain focused on the very thing I wanted to focus on – my family.

She introduced me to the concept of “And vs Or”.  Instead of thinking that I can do “this, AND this” she told me to start thinking that I could do “this, OR this”.  I could add any activity or cause, but to do so I had to drop something else.  This worked well for quite a while, but somewhere along the way I added another job and ran a three job mix for 10 years.  That mix ended about six months ago and I am thankful for that. 

It is hard.  There are needs out there.  There are interests out there.  I know people who actually function best running five lanes wide at full speed.  I am not one of those.  My patience is better, and my perspective is better if I have some time to pull over and park, instead of running five lanes wide.  It also gave me an excuse to build a greenhouse in our back yard.  It really is good for my soul.

Some of the men I meet with started a challenge a few years back.  It started with the question “What do you want to be known for?”  We identified the roles that we wanted to concentrate on.  I still have my list sitting on my desk.  I still refer to it and it reminds me that I want to focus on the following:

-Be a man of God.  For this role I want to keep good daily habits reading His Word and be involved in ministry in some form.

·       -Be a Godly Father and Husband.  For this role I started taking my kids on dates, which I still do.  I also promised to take my wife on regular dates.  For years after I took my new job I would not work on a Friday, that day belonged to Mary.  We did pretty well with that until grandchildren arrived and what a great reason for a crazy schedule.

·       -Be a good steward of my work.  For this I just wanted to make sure I was organized and that I worked hard when I worked and did not bring the job home. 

As I am typing this at 11:30 on the night before I am supposed to post it, I realize that I can improve in all of these areas.  But my life, my family and my Savior deserve the effort. 

What do you want to be known for?

How do you organize your day, your week and your life to meet that goal?

Challenge: Recognizing the fact that you are out of balance when you are, in fact, out of balance.  Compare your to do list with what you want to be known for.  Think about it, if you invest your money and lose it, you can eventually make more in some other way.  But if you invest your time poorly, it’s gone. 

Rick Claiborn