Love like you mean it

“And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge.”  Ephesians 3:17-19 NIV

My bible has a lot of loose pages in it from sermon outlines or study guides that have meant something to me.  One of my favorites is from an NFL football game.  It was from a game during a work stoppage of the Officials who were holding out for a contract negotiation.  The NFL brought in replacement officials to cover the games. 

My dad was a Teamster, which is a very strong union.  Few would have ever crossed a picket line to find work.  It was dangerous.  For some reason the NFL Players Association chose to keep playing.  It did not take very long for the fans to miss the regular officials. 

They were not pulling people off the street to officiate games.  Replacement officials had to have substantial experience calling NCAA games.  They all had dreams of making it to the NFL one day and had worked to earn a chance.  Ironically, crossing that picket line probably cost them any chance they had of ever making it. 

I have a picture of a game that shows action in one teams end zone.  Two players went up high for a pass.  There was no pass interference on the play, both teams had clean hands.  Both the receiver and defensive player had hands on the ball.  They fell to the ground and the entire stadium waited to see what the officials were going to call.  Was it a touchdown?  Was it an interception?  Did the ball hit the ground incomplete?  Those were really the only options. 

Two officials entered the picture.  Both had waited for this opportunity.  Both had worked for it.  They both came in with definitive signals.  It’s called selling your call.  I officiated high school football for 20 years.  An official coming in timid invites scrutiny, it can look like you are not really sure of it.  So, you make the call confidently. 

Both officials did a good job selling it.  Unfortunately, one had both arms straight up signaling “Touchdown!”  The other official came in both arms waving over his head and followed that with one arm moving up and down to signal a touchback, a defensive interception in the end zone.

In the picture you can see all of it.  Both men were approximately 5 feet from the ball.  They had nothing blocking their view.  They simultaneously saw the same play and called the exact opposite result.  I think the NFL and the Officials Union settled their differences the next day.  Interestingly, it did not take very long for the fans to start missing the replacements.  Turns out nobody likes officials.

I am relating to that picture today because I feel like my life is represented by that split call.  In one way when I was younger, I was like the replacement officials.  I would rush decisions.  I usually felt like the people around me needed to hear my opinion.  I took too many things too seriously.  Additionally, when you are younger or less experienced you do not yet realize it.  You might think you know something, but you might not have any idea what you might not know.  That comes later.  I had more to learn than I realized.

The older me is slower to react and slower overall.  My tone of voice is less harsh even though I still need to work on that.  I seem to let things play out a little more before forming an opinion.  Most of the time I now realize that very few people need to hear my opinion and if they do, they will probably ask for it.  If they do not ask, they may not need it or want it.  I am more patient even though I am still not very patient. 

I find myself less busy and more inclined to sit down and relax with Mary or play with Harlee and Ollie.  Time is going faster even though I am trying harder to slow it down.  I realize that I have limitations like old age, bad knees and a questionably cooperative back.  If you need to move furniture I used to volunteer.  Now I offer the use of my truck. 

I feel like I am digging deeper into the bible and have a bigger appetite for study or discussion led by people who know more than me.  I also know a lot more people who know more than me.  I think that has always been the case, I just did not always recognize it.  I also have realized that my concept of the grace of Jesus was far too small.  It is not possible to understand freedom until you realize you have it even though you have done nothing to deserve it.    

I find myself looking at my faith walk from a different perspective.  I don’t need to be busy and when I am not, I like it better.  I have more time to sit with my wife and either talk or sit silent, it does not matter to me as long as we are in the same room.  I see us doing more of the one thing those two officials did not do, communicating: about anything. 

Husbands, how often do we fail to communicate with the most important person in our life?  When you are trying to show her love, does it look and feel like you really mean it?

How often do we feel like we are communicating when we are talking, but leaving out listening to our wives, even studying our wives?

Challenge:  The officials in that football game did nearly everything right.  But they fell short on one thing, they made no effort to communicate with each other.  The whole world saw their division rather than their unity.