Brett and Amy Denham

When good people leave, big gaps show up in your life.  One of the best families I have ever known is leaving Hays.  I heard a preacher say one time that Christians are a little like manure.  If you leave them all piled up in one place, it starts to smell.  But if you spread them around, things start to grow.  God has plans for them in full time ministry and they will be a blessing in their new role, but part of my heart feels hurt at the same time. 

You could ask anyone who knows them and you would hear about love and faith and strength and joy.  One person said they always thought they were the perfect match.  Brett brought Amy out of her shell and Amy tempered Brett so he wasn’t quite so “exuberant”, which is the perfect description.     

I met Brett when buying a phone when he was working at Nex-Tech.  We hit it off and just kept in touch over the years.  Our paths crossed through work when he started working for the same insurance agency.  I once heard a sermon about the need for every man to have three types of friends.  First, you need a Paul, an older or more experienced man, someone you can learn from.  Next you need a Timothy, a younger or less experienced man, someone you can pour into when needed.  Lastly, you need a Barnabus, someone who knows and loves you but who is also not overly impressed by you.

To me, Brett was a Timothy, however, he apparently gave himself a promotion.  The aftermath of our daughters death obviously impacted every area of our life.  It is a long story but one of those areas was our family attending church, in short, we had stopped.  Mary and I had rotated going to church with Aly for years.  Once she got old enough to not need us to take her, we started having our own devotionals at home because we simply could not get Korbin through a church service without disrupting us or others around us.  It sounds like it should have been easy, but it was not.  There was also the fact that I pushed Jordyn’s coffin out the front door of a building that Jordy roamed like she owned it.  We loved Celebration, but a death made that a struggle.  Long story short, Brett caught me at the office one day and calmly stated it was time for me to do something different.  He also gave me a deadline.  When I called him to ask him what time service was at High Plains he just laughed.  He had set a reminder on his calendar for the following Monday if I had not shown up yet.  It takes courage to challenge a man like that, but my Timothy had turned into a Barnabus, and a Paul, and I am thankful he did.  - Rick Claiborn

I asked one of their closest friends if he wanted to share his thoughts and received this letter:

I could write volumes on the impact the Denham’s have had on our lives.  BJ was the first person to reach out to Jenny and I nearly 15 years ago when Reagan was sent to Wichita for an unexplained and serious illness.  We had just started attending High Plains at the time and barely knew anyone.  I was so moved that he reached out and encouraged us and prayed with us.  

Over the years that have followed BJ and I have not only become my closest friend and confidant, but also my brother.  Our daughter Joslyn and their son Levi have been together since preschool which Amy taught at the time and they remain close like siblings to this day. 

Some of the first things that come to mind when I think of the Denham’s are love, encouragement, joy, service and loyalty.  They are always the first one when there is a need to ask, “how can we help?” and likewise even their children have that same spirit. 

I have been challenged to dive deeper in my faith, to learn and grow as a Christian, but also to disciple others for the same reason.  We have spent many game nights, Bible studies, holidays, birthdays and vacations together and that is a testament to them always seeking to include others.

It is impossible to be down around people who always find the good in life, even in tough situations.  In fact, as friends they have been one of the bigger remedies to my struggle with anxiety and depression.  BJ and his family have been there for us through every high and more importantly every low over the past 15 years, celebrating our victories and mourning our hardships.  Their love for Christ, His church and the gospel are evident in the way they live and serve others. 

BJ slept on a much too small and definitely uncomfortable couch for two restless nights in the progressive care unity when I suffered a stroke, forsaking his own comfort and time with his family.  He joked with me and helped me walk.  He made sure I ate and rested.  Most importantly, he prayed for me and with me.  He would not leave my side.  This is how he is with anyone in need; it is simply who he is. 

I have been immensely blessed by the Denham’s presence in my life and will sorely miss them.  Though I am happy for them to get this opportunity and to bless this church in Garden City as well.  My friend Josh has a saying, “This is going to hurt more than a hog bite”.  But in spite of the pain of seeing them move on, I also know that God has amazing plans for the Denham’s in Garden City and they will touch many lives there as they have done in Hays. 

Ryan Bates

Sometimes I wonder why people tend to wait until someone dies or leaves to make sure they know how we feel about them.  I think we should all encourage each other more often.

To be honest, I am glad that it hurts.  That means the relationship is that good.

Challenge:  Blessed assurance:  God will use them to do impossible things, but they will be missed by everyone who knows them.