Captive thoughts

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV

One of the best parts of my job is meeting people. I think God had a sense of humor when He opened the door for a job that required that I pay for the names of people to go see. It is funny how that can motivate you to not give up. I used to wish that He did that for ministry as well. It took a little time for me to recognize that He was, I just used to think about work and ministry separately.

I visited with a couple recently that struck me as remarkable. They were both in their 60’s and had been married for around 30 years. About seven years ago he had a stroke. It left him unable to speak and completely locked up his body. He needs help doing most things around the house. If you imagine sitting in a chair but leaning forward to look down at your feet, that is his permanent position.

He can hear and his mental capacity is sharp, but he cannot speak or look at you unless you kneel low enough to make eye contact with him, which means you have to sit on the floor next to him. I am amazed at how willing people are to tell you their story when you are interested enough to get in a position to listen to it. I found it fascinating and just asked how they communicate. He cannot type on a computer and there was no other communication aid present. She just said, “I talk and watch his eyes. We manage.” I was thinking that it would be so hard to live in silence and essentially motionless, trapped maybe. But I didn’t see struggle in his eyes. I saw peace.

Our son was diagnosed with autism at just under three years old. I write about him often and really do mean it when I say that God has repeatedly shown me that He can use Korbin whether it makes sense to me or not. If you look at him now, you see a young man who is learning and growing, but it was not always that way.

Around the time of his diagnosis, he stopped making eye contact. He did not look me in the eye for close to three years and even that was from the opposite side of an observation mirror. He had no idea I was there. For a significant amount of his life Korbin’s eyes were not blank. They were worse. You could see a trapped human inside of him who could not find a way out. Thinking back, it was kind of horrible. He used to jump on a trampoline for hours every day. It was the only way his body figured out how to deal with the conflict on the inside. Mary and I used to take turns jumping with him praying for one clear look. I am not exaggerating; at times he used to jump 10 hours a day.

It is interesting to me that Korbin was 4 or 5 when he figured out how to manage all of the mental warfare he still fights today. I think I do not give him enough credit for that accomplishment. That is a large amount of coping to deal with. He still does not functionally talk very much, but connection is no longer with a hollow gaze. When I look him in the eye today, I see peace – and mischief.

As for the man who was sitting in that chair, I have to hand it to him as well. I was thinking how hard it would be to only have one option, sit still and be quiet. He has figured out a way to have peace in the middle of a seemingly continuous opportunity to fight what you cannot defeat.

What is your internal fight?

What is your primary weapon? Korbin could use physical activity to help him but has no words. The man I met cannot move and likewise, he has no words.

Challenge: To sit still and be quiet. Both men are fighting a mental war. To battle it, they both have to take every thought as an opportunity for peace or for torment, which is exactly the same for me. If I do not take every thought captive, I have an enemy who will.

Rick Claiborn