Transmission problems

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”  Romans 12:18 NIV

My wife and I took our son Korbin to Kansas City this past weekend to celebrate his birthday.  He always enjoys staying in a hotel and has a very specific list of stores he wants to visit.  His main target is movies.  He has found DVD’s at stores I never knew carried them.  He looks at literally every movie on every shelf. He will leave the ones he likes partially pulled out and when he is done with the search, he starts to negotiate. 

He always starts with however many he has pulled out.  We start low and we haggle to reach middle ground.  Once he has our number, he will simply walk to the ones he has already pulled and take his top picks.  He kindly pushes those unselected all the way back in and away we go. 

We threw him a curve this trip.  He has a job and has some money, so we did not negotiate.  We just agreed with his first offer.  The look on his face was perfect.  He knew he should have started higher, but it was too late.  I doubt he makes that mistake again.

We left that store and were ready to hit the next stop.  Car in gear, nothing moved.  Then a sudden jolt forward.  Every shift was hard and difficult.  We had a transmission problem.  I called a friend to ask his advice.  He was partially worried that we would not make it back to Hays.  Then I called one of my nephews who actually works on cars for a living.  He has a very nice shop that I had not yet seen, so it was cool to see him.  He drove our car for a while and concluded that he thought we could get home but also that we were about to start looking for a new transmission. 

To complete this picture, I have to come clean.  My wife and I do not argue much.  It is rare and I am thankful that neither she nor I pick very many battles.  That day we did, more accurately – I did.  Gentlemen, find a woman who will call out your crap.  You may not like it at the moment, but with the right woman, you can become a better man. 

Once the transmission became a problem, we got back to being us.  Unified.  We drove rather cautiously but we visited two of my sisters and their families before returning to Hays.  We always pray before hitting the road.  I asked Jesus for “a safe trip and a transmission that heals itself”.  I have this weird opinion that Jesus likes my sense of humor.  But we were still going slow and easy on that transmission.  At our first stop on the way out of town I noticed that the transmission did not slip when we left.  The shifting was smooth again.  Huh, maybe we will make it home. 

As usual I am working out of town today and I asked Mary to drive it like nothing was wrong.  She had no problems.  My point in sharing this is the simple fact that Jesus Christ can do anything He wants to do.  He can also un-do anything He wants to un-do.  I wasn’t going to write about this for two reasons.  First, I caused our friction, admitting that is not fun to admit.  Second, I thought a “transmission healing” may sound weird.  Mary was the first to verbalize “We were off kilter, maybe God threw us a challenge to get us back on the same page.” 

What do you fight with your spouse about?  Why?

How long does it take for you to come off of your position when you realize you need to? 

When you are “right” how long do you make your spouse pay before dropping your weapons?  Mary could have made me pay for a while.  She didn’t.

Have you ever considered that conflict within your marriage may actually be fuel to help you find unity, not ammunition to fuel a fight?

Challenge: People with frequent conflicts get used to it and even expect it.  I think it is harder to pull yourself out of it when it is just a normal thing, so don’t make conflict your normal condition.  Work at making peace, even when you are having transmission problems.