Flameproof knowledge

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV

A few years ago, my wife and I were blessed to take a trip to Italy. It was a once in a lifetime kind of trip. We saw architecture and history that simply does not exist here. We ate at a restaurant that opened in the year 1600. You would think that cheese pizza would not be too much different than what we serve here. It tasted like a different food than what we call pizza. We visited a church completed in the year 1200 that took 200 years to build. Our country is only 244 years old.

One site that we visited was a part of a guided tour. We stood in front of another church and listened to the tour guide explain the significance of the doors. They were impressive, maybe 15 feet tall and were looked like carved works of art. The guide discussed the meaning of the doors. She explained that the carvings were significant because they represented man gaining knowledge and thus a more equal relationship with God. Interesting. She then told us that the doors were not the original works, however. The first set burned in a fire. After being re-carved to their original glory they were then destroyed by flood. The current doors were some type of reproduced “Flameproof” material. I remember wondering if she noticed the irony of two different monuments to our own knowledge being destroyed. I think God may have just been thinking “I rest my case”.

I have been thinking about my lack of knowledge today. It has been an unusual year for many reasons. Obviously, the virus has a lot of headlines, but that is not what is on my mind. We have seen more than one young family experience the loss of a child through miscarriage (it is not Aly and Logan). Some have lost more than one. It’s heavy and hard. I do not know if more miscarriages are happening or if I am just noticing more.

I have been struggling with how to help. Having gone through the loss of our 16-year-old, it may seem like we would know what to say to a young couple in pain. We do not. We have experience, but our knowledge is not really flameproof either. We live in a fallen world where bad things happen. “Why?” I do not know. I think losing a child to miscarriage can potentially be more sinister. Everyone around us heard about the wreck that took Jordyn and Cody home. But most of the time you could be sitting next to someone in pain from a miscarriage and not even know they were pregnant. It forces pain behind closed doors and makes us fight solo. Our enemy likes it that way. We should not let evil choose the terms of battle.

I have been trying to find words even in prayer. I don’t really have anything there either. Words seem kind of insignificant. If I pray for them to find peace, I know that is an ongoing process of searching, forever. If I pray for God to be with them, He already is. If I pray for them to trust God’s plan, I know that I am over 11 years into our journey and have to re-align with that plan every day and I sometimes still fight it. I do not like the plan. But God is not required to get my approval.

The pain we experienced can feel somewhat like getting hit in the head with a baseball bat. If someone hit you every minute all day each blow would do damage, but you would actually become numb. Eventually, it feels more like someone hitting you once an hour. Still damage, but you feel each blow more. After 11 years it seems more like getting hit once a week or so. Less often, but you feel every one. That is not an encouraging thing to discuss, but necessary. People told us it would get easier. I disagree. Different? Yes, but easy? No. People told us we would adjust to a new normal. I don’t hate too many things, but I literally hate that phrase.

Today I remembered a verse:

“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.” Romans 8:26 NIV

When I have nothing. The Spirit intercedes for me. The Spirit will intercede for them too. I have been on my knees many times trying to form words and lacking the ability. I find myself in the same posture right now only it is not just for our family. It is for theirs. I know there are people in my life who would lay down their life for me. There are people I would lay down my life for as well. As it turns out, that is not a sufficient act of love. How often do you hear of someone dying for someone? It happens but a far more frequent need is to stick around and get your knees sore and your heart ripped open to grind through this day with them. We actually felt the power of prayer. They will too, but only if we are holding up our end by praying.

After Jordyn died it struck me that if God is in control, and I believe He is, then all of the things I imagine in Jordyns life that we missed: graduation, marriage, kids, and just her life was not planned. Her life ended, what came after that is in my mind. We saw her entire life – here. Her present and her future belonged in heaven. I will get to see her again when my future aligns with her present. But I have some life to live here first. As much as it hurts, so do you.

Thinking in this way sort of encourages me. If life begins at conception, and I believe it does, then there is a soul attached to that unborn child. That soul moves to heaven when the body here dies. That means there are reunions waiting for us in heaven. I will wrap my arms around Jordyn’s neck. You will wrap your arms around his. Can you imagine the joy?

Who is in your life who needs a prayer warrior? That term also means more to me now.

If no one comes to mind, add a nameless young couple we know to your prayer list.

Challenge: Some days have joy. Some days have pain. Some have both. You did nothing wrong. You are not being punished. God is still on His throne. Sometimes you rely on your strength. Sometimes you rely on someone else’s strength. Don’t quit.

Rick Claiborn