Good enough

“But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them – yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me.” 1 Corinthians 15:10 NIV

Sitting with my son as he ate breakfast this morning I was thinking, my son is an ornery. I’m talking about an elite ability to mess with people. I think he has turned it into some sort of Olympic sport. Most 15-year-old young men are close to certifiably insane anyway. But Korbin also has that whole autistic sort of devious genius thing going so it is hard to figure out how to match wits with him.

I was sitting there thinking that in spite of the times when he can frustrate the daylights out of me, I love him more than I can express. He cannot possibly do anything that would ever change that. This would somewhat correspond to how God feels about me. He gives grace freely and I need it.

I was comparing this picture in my mind to the spiritual battle that seems to be the most prevalent in me “Just not good enough boy.” I hear it in my head. It can come at any time I think I might be letting someone down. I hear it when I think I have let myself down. I hear it when I think I’ve let God down. I can literally hear it as I write this.

I have come to find three sources of this mental statement: Me, God, or Satan. Let me explain. Using the analogy of a grade in school, if I am doing “C” work, but I am capable of better, it is okay to tell myself “Not good enough”. If I want to be more patient with my son but I am continually impatient with him – “Just not good enough.” In this type of situation, it is okay to recognize that my effort can be better.

However, when the voice is coming from Satan, it is a condemning statement that is not meant to make me work at accomplishing anything. It is solely meant to destroy. In this case I might hear “You’re a terrible parent, just not good enough boy”. My friend Patrick and I use the analogy of having a button in the back of your head. This would be the button Satan can push to mess up any day. I do not need to have 12 buttons to push when one can get me off track so easily.

I also believe that God can say “Not good enough” as well. Hear me say this – I am not confused, grace is free and the only way to gain access to Heaven. We cannot get there through works. It is by grace alone. However, if I have prayerfully considered my life and am trying to walk the path God has laid out for me, He may have to occasionally tell me. Think about it, when God told Noah to build the ark, at some point the work had to start. Noah knew the job at hand. If he was sitting around watching sheep instead of building, he may have needed a nudge from God. In this case I might hear “You want to be patient, but that wasn’t. I can help you if you let me”.

The trick in all of this is figuring out the source of the voice. Condemning myself may come easily, but it does not glorify God. Humble does not mean I think about myself negatively. It means not thinking about myself at all. God will not condemn me either. He may give me a conviction that I can do something different. But that is always a call toward Him – always. If the voice is coming from Satan, it is wholly condemning and leading me away from God towards isolation. Command Satan to flee in this case. Always move toward God.

What is the easiest button to push on you? Who is currently pushing the buttons?

How can you use that to grow toward God instead of interrupting your walk with Him?

Challenge: Practice discerning the source of the voice in your mind. Practice moving toward God.

Rick Claiborn