Milestones

We had to put our dog Candy down this week. She was probably 14 years old, maybe more. She really could not hear anymore and could not see very well. She really could not get around very well. One of her legs kept giving way. There was confusion at times and other problems. I realize right now that sounds like me. I scheduled an appointment with the most caring veterinarian I have ever seen. We had taken this trip before. We had a 17-year-old lab named Bo I took for that drive probably 15 years ago. The vet looked as sad as I did both times. I walked in knowing what we were about to do and I was thinking I was pretty well under control.

That was not the case. I cried like a grown man. We’ve lost a child and I have lost more than one dog, those are not comparable at all. I am not saying that. But it was hard, nevertheless. I knew it would be but I was a little surprised by how much. I started wondering why its so hard to lose.

As I write this, we are 30 days away from marking 10 years since our daughter died. I would compare this to when you get married. You go along and suddenly it’s been a year - a milestone. You keep going and then eventually you realize you’ve been married 5 years – another milestone. The regular days are not different, there are just times that make the passage of time remarkable. Day 1,085 was not really different than day 3,650 will be, it’s the milestone. I start to compare, like the fact that she’s now been gone the same amount of time it took for me to go from September before I was a kindergartner to the September prior to my sophomore year in high school. That's amazing to me.

I know heaven is my destination, but life here is marked sometimes. At times it is marked by loss. At times it is marked by joy. We have tried to do something positive even on her death anniversary. We started the Free Spirit Run for several reasons. First, we wanted to just have a positive event. We also wanted to raise some money for scholarships in her memory at Hays High and Fort Hays State. This year the event will be September 14th. You can register if you want at the Hays Recreation Commission at www.haysrec.org. We have a 5K, a 10K and a Free Spirit division if you want to just sign up for a t-shirt.

This is not a plug for the run. I just wanted to challenge you to find ways to change your perspective on the most painful things in your life. Look for the things God may be doing. I understand that I usually do not know what He is doing until I look back. Even when I think I do, He is doing more things on more levels than I can possibly understand. I do not think Jordyn dying was my fault, but if I open my mind and heart, I can start to look for how God is using it. I am actually thankful He is able. Otherwise it’s pointless.

Fortunately for me, I realize that God does not have to ask my permission for anything. I think we confuse the chain of command sometimes. Look for a way you may be able to help someone through something similar. Open your heart to the healing power of peace. It is possible, even if I have to re-tune into it an infinite number of times. It has no limit.

What are some of the difficult things in your life?

How are you managing to deal with those things?

Challenge: Peace is like a radio station. When you drive out to the country you sometimes lose the signal. Remember the radio stations power doesn’t change, only my reception of that power. Change your location, physically or emotionally or spiritually. Tune in.

Rick Claiborn