Mistaken Identity

“For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall fully know, even as I am fully known.” 1 Corinthians 13:12 NIV

It’s my wife’s birthday today. I am in the middle of nowhere sitting in a hotel thinking about her so guess what, this is primarily about her, but should apply to anyone. We have been married 30 years as of May 19th, which is more than half of my life. Clearly, she is the best half.

If you asked my wife to describe herself, she would use words like “wife”, “mom” or “friend”. The problem is that with each of those terms she would mentally throw in words like “not good enough”. Maybe most of us would do the same thing. But really that is more of a case of mistaken identity than of humility. How my wife would describe herself is far different than reality. We are going to change that. There is a point to this, so please bear with me.

I sent a simple text to a few people. The number of people who have been impacted by her is striking. If you did not get that text, I am sorry. I knew I would only be able to use a few. Here are some of the descriptions:

• “She is someone who never stops working. She puts everyone before herself – all the time. "She would die for her family.”

• “She is the most nurturing person in the world. She is literally always thinking of others.”

• “Her heart is pure gold. Genuine, kind, caring and truly cares about people. Amazing skin (I agree) and laugh.”

• “She has a gift of hosting that has to be God given. The woman can out cook, out craft and out create all of us and make it look effortless.”

• “Beautiful inside and out. She is such a giving person and always thinking about others. She always did care packages for my girls for finals (she still does a lot of those). She is younger than me, but I look up to her.”

• “I was prepared to kick your butt if you did not marry her. I would still hurt you if you aren’t wonderful to her.”

• “She genuinely cares for everyone. She listens without judgement. She has a wonderful laugh and a beautiful smile. She reads people well. She lights up a room when she walks in. She hurts when other people hurt. God created something beautiful in her!”

• “I think of choosing teammates for a sport, you definitely want her on your team and should be worried if she is your opponent. Don’t let her quiet demeanor fool you. She will fight for you if needed. She is a wonderful sister in Christ and a prayer warrior.”

So here is the point: If someone who fits these descriptions sees herself as not good enough, what in the heck is a dumb old donkey like me supposed to do? Here is what I think. We are supposed to be a little more like my wife in one simple area, stop thinking of ourselves so much. If I asked your friends, many of you would hear comments similar to those above. It is funny that we ignore the good with the single-minded effort to concentrate on the negatives we assume people feel about us. Why?

Instead, we should look at ourselves from the only view that matters: the eyes of Jesus. He died for us. He rose for us. He loves us and in spite of how many times we tell ourselves to the contrary, we don’t have to earn it. We just have to accept it. If we do, then even though we are bound by time here, if you look at an eternal perspective, grace has already made us new, perfect.

Why is it that when we look in the mirror, we evaluate a two-dimensional reflection on a man-made mirror instead of the real multi-dimensional spiritual masterpiece that He made?

Why do we care so much about what other people think that we forget what Jesus thinks about us? We are His.

Challenge: Ask Him “I know the kind of person you had in mind when you made me. How am I doing?” Listen as He tells you. Don’t confuse your own definition of identity with His. Then, tell people in your life what you see in them. They may need the encouragement.

Rick L. Claiborn