Put some effort in it

“May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.” Proverbs 5:18 NIV

A friend of mine wanted to plan a surprise birthday party for his wife. He did not think he could pull it off without her finding out, so he used a diversion. He told her they were going to host an event for their church. She got to work. She planned the entire party from invitations to food. She even decorated the space. In what may be the greatest achievement in the history of husbands, she planned her own surprise party. Genius.

Not near as clever, myself and a good friend planned a getaway for our spouses. We had agreed that we should take a break together and get out of town. Our wives agreed and told us to let them know the details once we knew them. If you want to throw someone a party, convince them to do the work. If you want to take the love of your life on a date you should probably do the planning.

We had a blast. It would be difficult to describe the Airbnb to you. But picture going to an art show where you live in the mind of the artist. Unique. It reminded me of something. When my daughters were younger if a young man wanted to go on a date with one of them, they had to meet me and sign a contract. Not kidding.

The contract was pretty simple. It described them as a special creation from God. It stated that Jordyn and Aly were destined to be someone’s wife. If that turned out to be them, they would thank me for the conversation. If not, we were all going to be okay with that. In it I also promised to pray for the young man and help him in any way as long as he was in the picture. I kept up my end of the bargain. Some of them did not. It also offered a few suggestions regarding his behavior. One of those was to plan dates. The expectation was to put some effort into it.

The weekend getaway sort of pointed out an issue. I do not plan enough when it comes to my wife. I do not mean to suggest that 30 years into a marriage that I have to plan every date. On the contrary, some of our most treasured time is devoid of planning. “Just be” as Mary would say it. But, I can do a better job of planning the special events too.

Life and business and demands and the news can dust right over the top of a beautiful life. Obligations are fine. Work is fine. Hobbies are fine. Friends are fine. But this is Mary. She deserves to feel pursued.

Married? Do you still date your spouse?

Single? Set the bar high, you might get there.

Challenge: Make the routine of life obey the special, not the other way around.

Rick Claiborn