Someone is watching

“For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope.” Romans 15:4 NIV

Sometime after Jordyn died our son had a music program at his elementary school. Tough atmosphere for him on a good day given the number of people, the stimulus overload and music, which has either a good impact on him or an explosive reaction. Roll the dice. We had a plan A, a plan B and a “Get him out as fast as we can” plan in place. With the precision of a military operation we walked in perfectly timed to meet his teacher who took him straight to the stage. She was armed with a card that said, “Sing first, then home”. It worked. He walked up and I guess you could say he participated. He rocked back and forth with no part of his body bending, stiff as a board. Sort of like me when I dance.

As we stood there in the back of the room, I noticed my wife smiling. Aly was smiling. I was smiling. Korbin was tolerating it, but that was a victory. It was the first time we had done anything outside of our house with all of us. It was the first moment that it occurred to me that we might just make it out of the mud.

On the way home that night Korbin got to pick where we ate. He picked “Rice” which meant Chinese food from The Mall. We headed home when one of us said out loud “I wonder if God let’s Jordyn see?” Rhetorical questions have a way of lingering. But at the dinner table that night Korbin opened his fortune cookie and was greeted with the words “Someone is watching from afar.”

You can call it coincidence if you want. I find it striking how hard some work to explain away God. That was a God sized wink to a family that needed it. Any part of Jordyn manifested into a current moment is a gift.

We had another one of those this weekend. Korbin participated in his first Special Olympics. He was entered into the Skills Competition. To say that Korbin has little interest in sports is a colossal understatement. He was nervous, maybe intimidated. But as he has done countless times before, he blew us away. He did a speed dribbling contest and I was literally shocked how fast he could double dribble a basketball.

I started to think about my own effort in sports. The first time playing in front of a crowd. The first time to compete against another human who was also competing against you. Korbin was nervous. It is intimidating. Korbin speeds up. Emotions are faster. Words are faster and at a higher pitch. His first bounce pass had so much energy it almost came back to hit him in the face. Fortunately, he caught it. Aly told me if that had hit him, she was just going to leave. Show over. It all occurred with his favorite five people watching him from the bleachers with pride, maybe a sixth from afar.

I was torn this week about whether to write about Special Olympics or encouragement before I realized that it is the same topic. Within our immediate circle of family and friends we see some dealing with job stress, anxiety, depression, marriage issues, addiction, loneliness, health issues, financial struggle, and fear of failure within a child’s breath of outrageous joy. We see all of it, keep going. I’ve got four sisters who have all been through a lot, but one in particular I want to mention who may pass out if she sees one drop of blood but who takes on the emotional pain or struggle of literally every person in her life and willingly carries it to God for them. Relentlessly. I’ll find my own band aid, but she prays for my family every day. Her husband is also one of the best men I know. The two of them are special.

All of us struggle with something. I don’t get “Evangelically Pissed” very often, but I do when anyone tries to say anything in this neighborhood - If your faith is strong enough, you won’t have such struggle. Such a position is not supported within the bible and I will challenge anyone to that conversation. Start with Jesus being crucified, then tell me that I have not prayed earnestly enough to rid my son of autism or my family from the sting of death. My faith is strong enough to help me through it, not weak enough to cause it.

What I think I want to do more than anything is something I do not do enough of, straight up encourage others. I have no answers for the person who is in the midst of the toughest battle they will ever face. I watch my wife and kids who are over ten years into that fight, and I realize now more than ever that simply getting out of bed is worthy of a gold medal on some days. I watched Korbin conquer about five of his worst fears all occurring at the same time. It was freaking fantastic.

Some people do give up. Most people do not. Realize that all around you are people who are astonished at your resolve, your faith, your peace. You may help some people on purpose, but I am convinced that for the most part none of us realize the impact we have on others around us. I am also convinced that God uses what we may look at as crap to show someone who is watching that hope is in fact real. Be encouraged, then be encouraging. Your crap may be helping more people than you think. Keep up the good work.

What is the toughest struggle you have seen someone deal with?

What area of your life do you see as the biggest struggle?

Challenge: Realize that tired does not mean defeated. Realize that defeat does not necessarily mean defeated. Don’t count the current score as final.

Rick Claiborn