Unleaded Grace

“And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it?” Luke 14:28-29 NIV

I have mentioned that I travel for work. While on the road I will sometimes see people who need help. I carry blessing bags that have some snacks and water in them. In the winter, my wife makes hats and scarfs as well. Once in a while I will see someone with a handheld sign saying something like “Need gas money”. I encountered one a while back that I want to mention.

I was coming home from one of my furthest trips. It was late and I was tired. I noticed someone at a gas station right after pulling off of the interstate. Sometimes I get an immediate feeling that I am supposed to help. Sometimes I feel like I should not stop. God may have another plan or honestly sometimes I may convince myself incorrectly. On this night it was a delayed reaction. As I drove past, I felt an urge “You should stop”. I kept driving until the next corner “That was not a question. You should go back.” So, I did.

I pulled into the parking lot and up to a gas pump. I walked over to the lady holding the sign and said confidently “Pull your car up.” As she walked over to the parking area, I noticed several cars. She did not head for those. As she walked, I saw what I would describe as on old school RV, maybe from around 1970. You know the kind, with a residential window air conditioner cut into the side. My motivation wavered, but I kept going.

As the pump ran we had some small talk like where she came from (the meter went past $10), where she was headed ($20), vacation or business ($30), do you have kids ($40), how old are they ($50). I actually looked to see if gas was running on the ground. By this time, I was having serious reservations ($60). As the pump passed $70 she asked me a simple question “Why did you stop to help me?” I answered, “Because God loves us both and I think He wanted me to help”. I stopped at $75 totally convinced that I had really helped someone. She thanked me and I got back in my car. As I drove off, I felt a small voice “Really?”

When we speak of the concept of grace, we often think God must have a limited supply. Surely, I have to start earning it at some point. What I have learned over time is that although I cannot conceive perfect grace, God grants it to me anyway. My problem that night was not a lack of motivation, it was a lack of perspective. I thought I was needed. If I had kept driving, I am pretty sure that family would not have imploded. God did not need me, but He did want me.

If we are called to count the cost, does He mean money? Sometimes. We are called to be good stewards of what He gave us. I think that applies to everything: time, talent and treasure. I confuse things when I think that God will somehow be in short supply without me. He did not need my $75. He wanted me to be completely committed to Him. May wife and I will not miss that $75. But I missed an opportunity to be a willing servant, regardless of the price. I was more aware of the money than of the moment. Come to think of it, she seemed completely at peace. I was the one worried about the cost.

What if God actually asked me to give more than is convenient?

What if He asked me to give my time, my occupation, my marriage, my kids, my yard, my food, even my thoughts?

Challenge: For me, to realize that grace is free but that it was purchased for me, not by me. God can do anything without me. Maybe God can do anything with me.

Rick Claiborn