“My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours.”  Luke 15:31 NIV

“The Son is the exact representation of God’s glory and the exact representation of His being…”  Hebrews 1:3 NIV

21 year old man,

I am sitting here on your 21st birthday wondering how I would describe you – to you.  What do I want you to know.  I have learned to be more patient because of you (yes, ask your sister, or your mom, or anyone who knows me – I used to be even worse). 

I have learned to let some things play out instead of rushing in.  I have also learned to rush in on some things because you needed us to.  Sometimes I calm your mom down.  Sometimes she calms me down.  Sometimes you calm us both down.  We have both learned to trust you because you have earned it. 

You were diagnosed with Autism right before your 3rd birthday.  At that point we had no idea what to do.  We had no idea how to help you.  We had no idea what was in store for us.  I am glad we didn’t know.  We have learned to watch.  We have seen over and over that God had a plan for you and we are just blessed to witness it. 

One of the first crazy things I remember was one day you started asking us to repeat words that you said to us over and over and over - maybe 500 times in a day.  To be honest, it was hard to stay patient.  You would point to a word in a book and touch our lips when you wanted us to say it and then once you knew it, you would start asking us to use it in a sentence. 

One day you picked up a box of sidewalk chalk and started asking us for words.  We just pronounced random words.  I am not sure we even knew you could write.  We had no idea you knew how to spell.  You filled our entire driveway with words, hundreds of them covered every square inch of our driveway.  It was amazing.  It was also a little intimidating.  There was more inside of you than we could understand or imagine. 

You had a lot of anxiety and you found a way to cope with it on a trampoline.  You used to jump for hours at a time, like 10 hours at a time.  We learned that if we wanted any shot at connecting with you, we had to be where you were, literally.  This is true of all people, not just you.  Meeting someone where they are physically as well as emotionally is needed for people to connect.  You just made that need more obvious, maybe even easier for us to see. 

We used to jump with you, hoping for maybe one look into your eyes.  I have video of you jumping while playing “Bop it” on your I-pad.  One of your favorite activities while jumping was to say something like “Vegetables A to Z” and you wanted us to name as many vegetables as we could from the alphabet.  You used that same question to ask about all kinds of topics, like State capitals, animal species, and anything else you were curious about. 

You also started ordering things online.  We regularly had packages of books, puzzles or movies you ordered on Amazon show up on our door – that started when you were three years old.  Your largest order was almost $900 for a bunch of movies.  Your mom got most of those sent back, but you hacked every security we could think of. 

You have grown to be one of the most empathetic people I know.  If you hear a baby crying anywhere, we have to find the baby so you can see that they are okay.  You have stopped in your tracks to sit next to total strangers who have ended up telling us something they were going through and how much they needed what you just delivered – without words.  You saw your mom hurting on one of Jordyn’s birthdays.  Those can be hard.  You were walking towards your room when you saw her.  You wrapped yourself around her and held her for probably an hour.  It was beautiful and you never said a word.  You just loved her.  When she was okay, you let her go. 

You are also a relentless smart ass, especially to me.  I love it most of the time, but it can be pretty annoying.  Someone once told me “Korbin Claiborn is Rick Claiborn in a 15 year old body.”  That was one of the best compliments I have ever had until it realized what they meant.  I’ll take being compared to you any day. 

When you were young, I used to ask myself what you were going to do when you grew up.  I used to think of limitations and sometimes let those perceived limitations shrink my own optimism about your future.  What were you going to be able to do?  I was limiting you to what I could understand.  Korbin, you are more than I can understand.

My beautiful son now I say to myself “I wonder what he is going to do” with an optimism that is a mile wide.  Your future is bright because you have worked harder at life than maybe anyone I know.  You have had struggles, but you have had some incredible victories.  You will have more struggles as you proceed through life.  You will meet those struggles head on too. You will have more victories. 

“Special needs” is a term often used to describe a miraculously unexplainable human.  “Special gives” is a better term.  You have given me more than I have given you.  You have made yourself better.  You have made us all better.  You have made me a better dad.  Happy 21st birthday Korbin.

Dad

What do you think you want to do in the future?

What limitations do you face and how can you work through, around, or in spite of those limitations?

Challenge:  Not all miracles occur in one big step.  Some take years of effort only to reveal the miraculous at its appointed time.