A big box for your stuff

“Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain.” Proverbs 127:1 NIV

I have a couple of jobs, although that sounds worse than it is. One of them is selling houses. At times there can be a lot of activity. At times there is not much. Our market is normally pretty consistent but in the last year there were times when we had a dozen or so houses in our entire MLS. That’s not very many.

The process of meeting someone and finding out what they have in their mind as their ideal house is interesting to me. Sometimes the house simply fits their needs but may not fit the definition of dream house. Nothing wrong with finding your dream house, but that can be elusive. The first time I experienced the dream was early in my experience as an agent. Two veterans had decided to buy. They had lived in a basement apartment for around 15 years to save up for it. They had never borrowed a dollar from anyone. Their only description was “We want a window.” When they walked in the house I showed them all of the windows were open. Light was everywhere. She just stood at the front door and cried. After a minute or so her husband just looked up and said, “I guess we will take it.” Dream accomplished. They still live there.

It is not always that emotional but is always rewarding. In the past month I have had the opportunity to help four clients who all found their dream. It’s been a great experience for me. The properties vary from the edge of town to outside of town with a huge shop to middle of town looking like it could be featured in a magazine. I got to help one family who downsized from a massive house to their own fixer upper. When I see them working on it everyone is happy and dirty, kids too. They will never forget helping fix up that house.

I even got to help find the house our granddaughter will grow up in. Hopefully with a brother or sister or two – or nine, whichever. My son in law has a good poker face. He had no disguise for the house they found. His shop is bigger than their current house. It’s not fancy, it’s perfect.

So why all the real estate talk. I just got off the road from working my other job selling insurance. This week I met some people I cannot shake. First thing Monday morning I was in open country and pulled up to a place that I can only describe as beautiful. Not fancy, but a perfect home in the country where two people have built a 60 year marriage with kids, grandkids and great grandkids. The yard was perfect. It looked like a place my father-in-law would have lived in. Well kept.

Eighteen hours prior to me pulling up to his house he had admitted his wife of 60 years to an Alzheimer’s unit. He was sitting outside. Going inside without her was a big hurdle. It was clear that I was not there to sell him anything. I listened. He was almost frantic. Rattled. He knew he could not take care of her anymore. But he did not yet know that a staff would do it like he would, with love. We talked about his faith. It was understandably shook. I’ve been there.

Later the same day I met a woman who got emotional talking about why she was too “distracted” – her word. She had came home a month or so ago to find her son who had hanged himself in her garage. She has now lost two children and a husband. I don’t have words for that. There was more, I could go on. At times my job can be hard just because of not selling. At times my job can be hard because I run into life. I am thankful for the job, but I get humbled by it constantly.

A friend of mine once described how he felt about his house being just “a big box for your stuff.” It makes more sense to me as I get older. There is nothing wrong with finding your dream house. But I saw people this week who built the dream with people. The house is just the tool. In several cases this week I found that the ultimate dream had crashed when the people left.

I have seen people who have that concept backwards, but I want to encourage you to gauge your success in the hard to measure business of loving a family for an entire generation, your generation. Live where you want to live, but love like you want them to be loved.

What is the primary obstacle between you and your family? I may not get caught up in the house chase for us, but let me see a weed in my yard and no stone will be left unturned. How much time does that add up to?

There is nothing wrong with having a nice house. Wherever you live, do you celebrate the current as much as you search for the dream? What if you are already living it and miss it?

Challenge: Missing the smiles, the laughter, the struggles, the love walking around you every single day trying to provide a better life for the best life you already have.

Rick Claiborn