And vs Or

"Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed – or indeed only one.  Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”  Luke 10:41-42 NIV

    When I switched jobs around 15 years ago my schedule went from having a job with a insatiable appetite for hours to one that offered a schedule that included some time off every week.  A job working in public recreation was great in a lot of areas, but it can also own your time. 

     My wife made me promise her something.  She just said, “You are going to have some free time that we are not used to.  Don’t fill it with anything for at least a year.”  She knew I could get a little lost in the possibilities to be involved in any of several areas volunteering in the community.  It was a little difficult.  Big Brothers Big Sisters, community activities, church groups, etc., all of them were great causes.  But she knew me well enough to know that my mind would fill up quickly.  That promise made my schedule remain focused on the very thing I wanted to focus on – my family.

She introduced me to the concept of “And vs Or”.  Instead of thinking that I can do “this and this” she told me to start thinking that I could do “this or this”.  I could add any activity or cause, but to do so I had to drop something else.  I am so glad she did that.  I have added things over the years, but I have also not added things over the years.  I am not perfect at it.  Sometimes my schedule is still too full, but I am a better at thinking that my schedule is full enough. 

It is hard.  There are needs out there.  There are interests out there.  I know people who actually function best running five lanes wide at full speed.  I am not one of those.  My patience is better, and my perspective is better if I have some time to pull over and park, instead of running five lanes wide.  It also gave me an excuse to build a greenhouse in our back yard.  It really is good for my soul.

Some of the men I meet with started a challenge a few years back.  It started with the question “What do you want to be known for?”  We identified the roles that we wanted to concentrate on.  I still have my list sitting on my desk.  I actually still refer to it from time to time.  It reminds me that I want to focus on the following:

·    Be a man of God.  For this role I had to keep good daily habits and be involved in ministry in some form.

·       Be a Godly Father and Husband.  For this role I started taking my kids on dates, which I still do.  I also promised to take my wife on regular dates.  For years after I took my new job I would not work on a Friday, that day belonged to Mary.  I have not done well on that lately though, to be honest.

·       Be a good steward of my work.  For this I just wanted to make sure I was organized and that I worked hard when I worked and did not bring the job home. 

As I am typing this at 11:30 on the night before I am supposed to post it, I realize that I can improve on all of these areas.  But my life, my family and my Savior deserve the effort. 

What do you want to be known for?

How do you organize your day, your week and your life to meet that goal?

Challenge: Compare your to do list with what you want to be known for.  Think about it, if you invest your money and lose it, you can eventually get it back.  But if you invest your time poorly.  It’s gone. 

Rick Claiborn