Balance

“There remains, then, a Sabbath – rest for the people of God.” Hebrews 4:9 NIV

Man, that is a hard concept. We are taught to work hard, and I agree. My example started early with both parents. A truck driver and a school librarian probably didn’t make much really. I look back now and wonder if my dad felt over-worked. I wonder how tired he was. I know my theme song for him was “Working Man” by Rush. The verse “It seems to me that we live our lives a lot better than I think I have. I’ve got no time for living, I’m working all the time” reminded me of my dad. I really do not want my kids to remember me for that.

I have basically two jobs. Husband and Father. I work other jobs to help pay for that. My main job is insurance sales. I travel two days a week. It is a job that allows me to pick my schedule. When I am home, there are few demands placed on me by the job. When I am gone, I am out of town and unavailable.

We have qualified for trips all over the place, including Australia, Hawaii and Italy. It is a really cool benefit of the job. To get there though you sometimes have to trade time away from your family while you work in order to take care of your family. There is a tension. How much is enough work?

My great idea a few years ago was that I should become a realtor so I could make money “on the side”. The time on the road and maybe a need to be challenged was getting to me a bit. I felt like I was not working hard enough because when you are not on the road, there really is not much to do. I ran across the verse from Isaiah 43:19 which says “Behold I am doing something new. I will make a pathway in the wilderness. I will make rivers run in a dry wasteland.” I thought clearly this is what God meant – “I am taking you to a new job”. So, I took my test, got my license, and went to work. I still went on the road to sell insurance, but I was convinced I would end up giving that up.

I understood that I was making a trade. I knew the transition would not be easy, but I was willing. I worked. Most weeks between the two jobs I was cranking out weeks north of 100 hours. I knew I was missing a lot, but I thought it was for the right reason. Aly kept reminding me that I was working too hard. Mary was pretty patient most of the time. We somehow ended up qualifying for a trip to Coeur D’alene, Idaho. If you have a bucket list, add this destination to it. If you do not have a list, start one. Beautiful is an understatement.

I was looking forward to the break. I could feel myself getting more and more tired. But I kept thinking about that verse. I even took to writing it down every day to remind me. I think it was the second day there we found chairs at an outdoor café. We literally watched a lake. It just sat there and so did we. Mary looked at me and said “Do you want to know how much you’re missing?” If your wife ever asks you that let me tell you it is more than a question.

I told her I thought I was grinding it out for the right reasons. But, maybe, I had misinterpreted Gods meaning for me in that verse. She proceeded to tell me that she had been praying for a year and a half using the same verse. However, her prayer was that I could see that the path we were already on was correct.

I remember asking her why it took her so long to say something. She said, “You weren’t ready to hear it yet”. I was ready that day. It is one of my favorite stories about her. For 18 months she stayed the course. She waited until it was time and then dropped the hammer. I was missing the very family I was trying to take care of.

We talked a lot sitting there staring at the water. When we got back to Hays, we readjusted. It took 18 months, but since then real estate has stayed “on the side” like it was meant to. God has still used it. He has blessed us through it. But I had let it take over my life and I needed to fix it.

Funny thing about balance. I have never recognized it when I don’t have it. I only see it when I look backwards. Learning it the hard way me recognize it going forward. I started recognizing that I can do this “or” this, not this “and” this. I think the journey made me more thankful for it. God led me to it to take it away from me so I would learn a lesson I will hopefully never have to re-learn.

How long is your to do list? Why do our lists always get longer, not shorter? Some things just really do not have to get done.

How many items on that list place you in the company of your family? How many place you in the company of your Savior?

Challenge: You’re going to work. You’re going to be stressed at times. You’re going to compare yourself to someone else and realize you could be doing more. But should you?

Rick Claiborn