Breathing room

“Was I fickle when I intended to do this?  Or do I make my plans in a worldly manner so that in the same breath I say both “Yes, yes” and ‘No, no’?”  2 Corinthians 1:17 NIV

Ever get surprised by the answer to a prayer request?  I think the answer, at least in my case, is that I am more aware than ever that I don’t actually “deserve” anything from Jesus.  Instead, He gives me grace, which is also something I cannot earn.  If He made me earn it, I would fail.  There is no human effort or condition that will facilitate a ticket to heaven.  But, there is Jesus.

I keep talking about how old I am, mainly because you can blink and a few decades can fly by.  I have held three jobs for the last 10 years.  It sounds far more accomplished than it actually is.  The fact is, if I had been better at any of them, I would not have needed the others. 

When I left Parks and Recreation I gained a large amount of time.  My wife made me swear that I would not fill it up.  That worked well for a while.  But busy snuck back in.  We added more work to the schedule because we both agreed we needed to do it.  It has been a pretty good balance – until our granddaughter Harlee was born.  Then it became more of a struggle.  We persisted.  Then our grandson Oliver was born.  Balance took the train out of town. 

Harlee just turned four and Ollie just turned two.  It is hard to drive away from those two.  I started asking Jesus for breathing room.  In my mind, that was stable production to generate stable checks.  I had not yet thought leaving a job was part of answer.  Jesus had a better plan.  We decided that a part time job selling houses was taking too big of a slice of time and was not enough to compensate for the cost of time and money to keep the job I had not been fishing for business as much as I have in the past.  But after walking away from it, I noticed something.  It freed space in my brain.  The job had grown to take more from me mentally than it was returning financially.  It took quitting it to see it demonstrated. 

Jesus was not finished with the lesson.  We had an exceptionally good month in January in my main job.  It was the largest month since before Jordyn died and I don’t think that was a random condition.  I think Jesus sat me down and reminded me of some things.

I cannot work to earn grace.  In addition, I cannot work hard enough to “earn” even His provision in my life.  I have to go to work, but results are not mine to control.  When I handed the reins back to Him, His route looked better.  It turns out my request for breathing room had more than one answer, but the best was not financial.  It was time.

How much unallocated time is in your schedule?

What are you squeezing out of the picture when you plan your week or day?

Challenge:  Practicing what I preach.  I just spent ten years adding caveat’s to the plan I told Jesus I would follow.  His path is better, and Harlee and Ollie will be here in the morning.