Do you trust me?

“Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.” Galatians 6:7 NIV

I have had conversations with some friends over the years about how God may look at us. Picture sitting across a table from someone you trust. Take a simple object like a saltshaker and place it near them on the table. Now move it away from them a bit. At each move ask them “Do you trust me now?” The further you get from them, the closer you get to the edge, the greater the test. “Do I really trust?”

If that is God sitting across the table, I can definitely say I would start out fully trusting. Now picture the saltshaker as my wife. Then picture Aly and Korbin. You’re saying I have to let them go in order to fully trust. That’s hard. Throw in less important items like job, health, hobbies and you get the picture. Trust may not come so easily once we see a lack of distance between what we love and the edge.

We are all there right now. In what looks like the plot of a movie we see a virus that can kill us. We are all watching what looks like the end of life as we know it. Not to be weird, but maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t. Think about it, the only thing that changed is that we found out one thing that already existed. God already knew and His power did not suddenly shift.

I travel a couple of days a week for work. I also see an older population. My average customer is 70 years old. I left the house this morning not sure how I would be received by total strangers who were literally all watching various news stories about our impending death. Some were unaffected. Others were locked down. I talked to more than one person through a closed door. I also realized how many surfaces I touch in a day, none of them clean. I started out fine. On Monday morning I always start with enthusiasm. I like the job for that reason, every week starts new. Last week, whether good or bad, is gone. Go build it again.

One downfall of my job is that I work alone in a car. There is a lot of time for voices in my head. I am usually pretty good at dealing with them. Today, however, I cannot say that. I started to feel sick. My throat hurt. I felt like I had a fever. I thought about heading home, but I always feel guilty if I cut effort short. Crazy isn’t it? Today I felt bad being there and I would have felt bad for leaving. Our enemy is cunning.

By midafternoon the battle was in the passenger seat next to me telling stories and I was listening. Not a good place to be. I battle anxiety and am medicated for it. That should be enough right? Not if I forget to also use the best weapon I have. Jesus and I are friends. Why did I not call Him sooner? To give Him room I found a parking lot and just parked the car and shut my eyes. No words, no music, no clock. “Do you trust me?” Yes, but I am having a hard time right now, can you help me? It took a bit of time.

I felt better. I started back on my route. I found people. In fact, I found people who wanted to talk. Funny thing, when I wiped the doom off my face so did total strangers. By the time I got to the hotel, the manager who had been on the phone when I called to see if I could cancel and run (I mean go back home) was still there. He had explained that he could not because I use a booking service for a discount. As I checked in, he looked up and said, “You sound way better than you did earlier.” What if I was the only bible he read today?

Unfortunately, I am sure my demeanor was self-fulfilling today. Actually, it probably is every day. I cannot reap what I do not sow. Doom breeds doom. Hope breeds hope. Faith, thankfully breeds faith. I am reminded today that as I go through this life the friend on the other side of the table can in fact be trusted, but I have to hand Him my life.

What are you worried about today?

What sources are you listening to for resolution?

Challenge: Maybe the news is okay at times. Maybe it isn’t. Don’t be afraid to turn it off and give God equal time and just maybe kick the enemy out of the car.

Rick Claiborn