Go right or go left

“The Lord knows all human plans, He knows that they are futile.” Psalms 94:11 NIV

Ever wonder what your life would have looked like if you would have done something different? What if you took a different job? What if you bought a different house? What if you saved more money, and how exactly would you have done that? What if you spent more money? Some people work themselves to near death afraid or unwilling to part with any hard-earned cash.

Ever had an option between staying in one job versus another? Everything from where you go to college to who you marry to where you live can be a worry. Maybe it is also true that every one of those things can be a simple choice, maybe the fate of the civilized world is not at stake.

I remember a time when my wife and I were faced with a change in my career. I had been in Parks and Recreation for close to 15 years. It was stable. It was a good job that I enjoyed and I think I was, at times, pretty good at it.

We started in the town of Scott City, Kansas. I was their first Recreation Director. We had completed Grad School at the University of Arkansas, unemployed. We moved to Collyer, Kansas to help Mary’s sister at a gas station they owned. Grad school to gas station. When we heard about the job in Scott City I actually drove there to apply. I ended up talking to the chair of their board while he got his boat ready for summer. I remember his maybe four year old son sat through the entire conversation and never spoke. We ended up naming our son after that young man. Ironically, our Korbin was zero percent verbal for years. I have never thought about that irony before now.

I learned a lot, but I logged a lot of hours. There were people who literally dropped their kids at our house on Saturday morning and those kids would go to the gym or to the ballfields with me. In some cases, all day. I enjoyed it but after Jordyn was born, I had to get her out of bed at night to spend time with her. Also, my wife told me that if we had stayed in that job she probably would have left. Interesting note, she did not tell me that until after we moved. I think she knew there was enough pressure.

Prior to us leaving that job I had seen an advertisement for the job in Hays. I actually threw it away. Mary pulled it out of the trash. I applied for the job, but I do remember wondering how she knew it was actually in the trash. Nevertheless, I actually drove to a conference to meet a Board member from Hays so that I could make sure he knew me. We never talked about the job that night, but he did buy me a beer.

They offered the job in Hays while we were still in town for the interview. The same Board member I drove two hours to meet offered to take us around town. We declined because we had scheduled a work day in Scott City to actually wire the lights for a baseball field. He was amazed that I went. I was amazed that he thought I would miss it. True story, we used volunteer labor to wire new lights on ballfields. Did I mention the hours? I didn’t tell anyone until after the lights were done. Some of those kids we used to spend so much time with cried when I told them we were leaving. So did we.

We ran full blast in Hays for around 13 years. I think we had the best staff in the state and a community hungry for a program. We were part of renovating fields all over town, building fields, building a recreation center and an aquatic park and watching a program go from near nothing to one of the best in the state. Toward the end I got an invitation to apply for one of the biggest jobs in the midwest, lots of applicants. We interviewed. We got a second interview. We made it to the final two. They called to tell me they were coming to Hays. I thought I had it. Road block, we didn’t get it. Suddenly the job I felt led to - and that seemed like the best in the state - started to feel like a defeat. Why do I do that? Maybe God setting the stage for the next thing is where blind faith starts.

Not long after that my wife and I took the kids to The Mall in Hays, it is capitalized because that is what our mall was called. She was with the girls, I was chasing Korbin. He was running around, and I saw him headed toward a trash can while he was looking back at me. I couldn’t stop him and he ran right into it. He hit his forehead on the trash can and then hit the back of his head on the floor. He is a Claiborn, so his head sort of breaking his fall meant he was not hurt, just ticked off. But I got a great sense of peace as I ran to him. It was sort of like God saying that my son was just like me. I could go right or left, He would go with me, but I needed to change direction.

I had no idea why. I had no idea what, but my mind started to be open to a journey. God revealed what He had in mind when a friend walked into my office and offered me a job, selling burial plans. Did I mention grad school? I have not used that degree in over 15 years.

I got challenged this week. One of the most important people in my life told me they think I might spend some time thinking about the what if’s of life. What if I had done this instead of that? What if I had saved more? What if I had taken a different job? What if I had just done a better job?

I climbed in the car at 6:00 this morning. It is now 11:00 pm and I am as far from my house as I can get and still be in my territory. I have had time to ponder. My conclusion today? The obvious would be to put Jordyn back into the physical, and I would obviously want that. But even that would mean I would be wishing her out of heaven. I am not sure she would want to leave. It’s heaven.

But if I was given a mulligan, I would have been nicer. I would have worried less. I would probably have bought some well-placed stock, but other than that, I would not change one thing if it meant my wife, my kids, my son in law and most definitely our granddaughter were one degree further away from where we are right now. Life really is a beautiful thing.

I have learned that no matter which way you go, He will go with you. I think I used to assume God opening a door presented an option that I could get right or wrong. I have grown to think right or wrong is incorrect. God is on both sides of every door He has ever placed me in front of, it is the same for you. He is still Him.

Why do we sometimes think we have to get decisions right instead of remembering we have been given free will by the creator of the universe? “Free will” in this case means equally good, just free.

If I look backwards, I can see that life has worked out beautifully. Why do I look forward and assume anything ugly?

Challenge: Let God be God, open doors or closed. Trust Him more than yourself. Both the journey and the destination are works of art, crafted by the Master. Spend less time wondering “What if?” or “Which way?” and more time participating in the walk He has you on. In this life you cannot go anywhere that God isn’t.

Rick Claiborn