I E P 2

“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21 NIV

“Who can speak and have it happen if the Lord has not decreed it?” Lamentations 3:37 NIV

Have you ever known someone who can talk about their kids incessantly? I know, that’s me. Korbin turning 18 is a big milestone, so there are several topics. But around a year or so ago I wrote about attending a meeting regarding the Individualized Education Program for our son. These meetings are a necessary part of trying to evaluate the needs of a student and measuring progress toward a written goal. They make sense, but I have never really liked them very much.

In them, people who are gifted educators have to break down goals. You end up hearing some success stories, but you also hear phrases like “Significant impairment”. Over time, there is growth, and these plans are very much a part of the reason. We had one of those meetings last week. I can no longer say I hate them, however.

I can sum up most of the 25 page report by quoting the following: “Korbin is a very empathetic, caring young man. If someone in the environment is emotional or upset, he will often say their name in a questioning manner. This is his way of asking if they are okay and checking on them. If he is given reassurance that they are okay or are going to be okay, he is able to go on with his day.”

That last sentence also indicates that if he does not have that reassurance, he cannot go on with his day. He won’t. I have mentioned this before, but if we are at Wal Mart and he hears a baby crying, we have to find the child so he can see and he has to hear us say that the child is okay. He will then watch for a minute or so just to make sure he believes us. Every time. We have had many perfectly good parents look at us a little weird.

When I think about how much he has grown it blows my mind. At age three, we were told that we had a two-year window to reach him. They told us that beyond that, progress could be minimal at best. They were wrong about that.

At the time, we did not know what the future held. We did not know how we were going to get there. We did not know what resources were going to be available. We had no idea how tired we would be through it. I thought then and still think now, I am 40 years older than him. He’s going to live longer than me. What then? I know his sister will do whatever he needs, but that isn’t really fair to her or to her husband and children. I read that it takes an average of $3 million more to support a life on the spectrum than is does a neurotypical human. How in the hecking heck? At three years old we had hundreds of questions and had zero answers to any of them. We plowed on anyway.

Why don’t I do that for myself? I have been self-evaluating a lot lately. Work has been tougher. My clients do not have a lot of money. Now, they have even less money. Questions and doubts run through my mind all the time. What if no one else ever buys anything? What am I doing wrong? Does God have a blind spot I am sitting in the middle of? He says He will never leave me nor forsake me. Does that mean salvation alone or are other topics included? Is Home Depot hiring? (that one was new today)

I do not mean to make light of questions you may have that are very real. Some, if not most, situations really do not have an answer. They only have an opportunity to trust something outside of ourselves. I am just saying that given the subject matter I needed no assurance. I knew we were fully deployed, no matter what happened. I need to remind myself of that from time to time. God can handle my questions. If I ask Him if I will be okay, His answer is yes, even if I cannot hear it. Then, like our son, I should be able to go on with my day.

What’s your biggest fear or worry or concern?

If you look back five years ago or ten years ago, is the issue the same? What happened to the old problem? If it is the same issue today, how much time have you spent asking God to help you let go and let Him handle it. I can tell you I spent very little time praying about letting God handle it – most of mine was asking Him to let me see what His answer was before He was ready to let me see. Maybe you can be better at this than me.

Challenge: During Korbin’s life-time the person who has worried about his life the least – is Korbin. I should learn from him to grasp faith and peace a little more firmly than I grasp the problem. Then I will know which one to let go of.

Rick Claiborn