Kelby Rice

“Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.” 1 Timothy 4 NIV

I was sitting down to some quiet time this morning and the song “Blessed assurance” came into my mind. It is a good old hymn that I remember singing as a kid. Full disclosure, I have always been a little jealous of people who can sing. Worship leaders amaze me at the ability, especially to praise and worship while singing. Usually all I can muster is tears.

One verse in particular: “This is my story, this is my song. Praising my Savior all the day long.” Everyone can praise in that sense. My life is my story. My life is my song. So is yours, which brings me to the point.

February 11, 2012, my wife and I were having lunch with friends. While we were eating, their son Kelby sort of went into a daze. He came out of it, but was different. I remember them wondering if they should take him to the ER. I remember looking into those beautiful eyes and he wasn’t in there. The emergency room turned into an appointment which led to a referral to an expert, which led to more appointments. Symptoms were scary – strokes. That’s what he was having, but answers were complicated, Arteriovenous malformation, AVM was the answer.

Once they arrived at a physician who was the expert, he told them to take him home, “enjoy him while you can, but he may not make it to 8.” He was seven years old at the time. I still want to slap that doctor.

We got a text this week that they were headed back to the doctor. Some symptoms were occurring and they wanted to check. He is now 19 years old, the same as our son. As it turns out, he has apparently began having some migraines. Those suck, but are much better than AVM. As for that, it is gone and lets not understate it, that’s miraculous. His doctor told him no restrictions, no forecast of future problems, “you might make it to 85.” Same doctor. Now I want to slap him and then hug him.

I asked Kelby if I could write about him because I do not want to embarrass him, but I think we need to explore this a little. “This is my story, this is my song” sort of gets tangled up when we think we are the ones writing the lyrics. We are not.

I asked his Senior Pastor dad what he has learned. He said simply “No matter how holy I am, I can’t fix my kids.” I think sometimes we oversell pastors. We think they have their faith walk so under control we forget to let them lean on us. We forget to check on them and they feel guilty for needing the same support we get from them. That is not a good thing.

I asked his mom the same question. I love her, but I can’t print her entire answer. She has learned a lot, but the part that struck me was this, “I learned that God’s timing is always right, never early – never late. I learned to rephrase my thinking from ‘what if’ to ‘even if’. Even if the worst happens, God is still good.”

That last part is the hardest. We have experienced the spiritual worst. So have they in other parts of their life. They have other kids who have all experienced the ups and downs and fears from Kelby’s life, but they also have had other struggles, including death. God is indeed still good. I think that He should listen to my prayerful input, and I believe He does listen. But it is when I start thinking that I should write the song that I get off track. It is when I start thinking my part is not what I want it to be that He tells me that is not my job. It is His.

Kelby told me that he has learned that he is not promised tomorrow. He mindset is probably more healthy than mine as a result – no promises, just live. He may never realize how many people love him. He may never realize the literal army of prayer warriors who are fully aimed at him. He may not realize how his story, his song has praised his Savior. But we know he has plenty of time to find out.

I do not always look at the hard parts of my life as an opportunity to sing praise to my Savior. Do you?

“Even if” you have hard things. Even if you do not hear the same chorus as God, praise Him anyway, “what a foretaste of glory divine”.

Challenge: When all this first started happening Brant was at our house and my non-verbal son walked up to him and pinched his chin to a point and said “It’s just a small thing.” No matter how big it seems, it’s just a small thing that God may be using to write a beautiful song.

Rick Claiborn