Mirrror mirror

“For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part, then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.” 1 Corinthians 13:12 NIV

If you have heard me talk about our kids, you have heard good things. I am proud of them. However, you have also heard frustrating things. I have had a few reminders this week that my impact on my kids is bigger than I can comprehend. That may sound strange, I know I impact them, but the thoroughness of that impact can be striking.

It is not always the case, sometimes our kids really are better than either of us are individually. Aly is one of the kindest people I know. That’s more from her mom than from me. She has my eyes and my stubbornness. She has my temper. We can argue like cats and dogs over the dumbest things, but we find our way back fairly quickly. It drives my wife crazy, but I would not trade my relationship with Aly for anything. If I do anything like she does, I feel pretty good about myself.

I have been thinking about this topic more in part because we have been discussing Korbin and what he likes to do and what he will end up doing for work. He has worked at a coffee shop and at a group home for men. He wants to work at a fire station. We are still working on that.

I was thinking back to a period of time when I was noticing some things about him. Specifically, I remember trying to get him to walk with his eyes up. He angles his head down toward the ground. It was bugging me that I could not get him to just look up. Then I realized that I do the exact same thing. I walk with my head down. It is hard for me to correct that habit. He does it just like me.

He also holds his hands to his chest. It looks a little unusual. But I saw my reflection in a mirror one day and I had both hands up in the middle of my chest. It sounds a little awkward, but I do it all the time. He does it just like me.

I was commenting one day about how much of a smart a_ _ he is (ornery is not an adequate word). My wife told me that one of our friends asked her one day if I realized that Korbin was me in a 16 year old’s body. I was telling my sister about it and to my surprise she said, “You were the most obnoxious person I have ever known at that age.” He is now 18 and has perfected his craft even more. I guess even in that, he is just like me.

If you think about it, the day before your kids move out of the house, they need to be at

somewhat prepared to do so. None of us knew everything we would ever need to know that early in life. But the point is to prepare them for life. I remember when Aly was about 17 thinking that if I left this earth at that point that she would make it. Struggle yes, but she was where she needed to be at that age.

Physical habits are one thing. Temperament is another. If I see my kids quit trying when the going gets tough, they may have learned that from me. If I see them sitting on the couch when they have work to do, maybe I do too. But what about the really important stuff?

Have my kids seen me pray? Have they seen me honor God? Have they seen or heard me thank Him?

Have they seen me love their mom? Have they seen me willing to help other people?

Challenge: If I walk past a mirror I usually do not like the reflection I see. I weigh too much and look even older than I am. But, neither of those things matter in the long run. My kids are probably the most accurate reflection of what they have seen in me. Whether they do or they don’t, they do it just like me.

Rick Claiborn