There could never be a more beautiful you

“You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you”. Song of songs 4:7 NIV

In 2009 an artist named Jonny Diaz released a song called “There could never be a more beautiful you.” I don’t remember having heard the song until someone suggested it while we were planning our daughter’s funeral. The title sounded perfect, so we included the song that day. Obviously on that day everything was emotional. I remember the sound of the acoustic guitar that started it. I remember the chorus and thinking I hoped Jordy knew it. She was far from perfect. But for a 16-year-old spaz, she was beautiful.

All of us have songs that make memories. Some are great memories like “I don’t know much” by Aaron Neville. We picked that song for our wedding. Great memories come up every time I hear it. I also remember that we had my cousin and her husband sing it that day. They had to reverse who sang the chorus because some of the notes were so high.

“I can only imagine” by MercyMe played at my mom’s funeral. It is getting close to 20 years ago and I still have never listened to that song again. There is no explanation other than I just don’t want to hear it again. Claiborn’s can be a little stubborn.

Back to “Beautiful you”, the song was popular, so it played a lot. It tore us up every time it started and it took a few years before either of us actually tried to listen to it again. But when we did, we discovered that the song itself did not really apply to her that much. The first verse says “little girl fourteen flipping through a magazine says she wants to look that way. But her hair isn’t straight, her body isn’t fake and she’s always felt overweight. Well little girl fourteen I wish that you could see that beauty is within your heart. And you were made with such care, your skin, your body and your hair are perfect just the way they are. There could never be a more beautiful you.”

Unless she hid it from literally every single person she ever met, Jordy did not have issues related to what she looked like, and she definitely did not lack confidence. I am not saying that she had no struggles. She was human. She only had one volume setting and it was loud. It seemed like she knew 90 percent of the people in our city and was on a mission to meet the rest. She was funny and had personality to spare, but she could argue with a brick wall and think she won. The song skips forward to “little girl twenty-one”. Jordy died at sixteen so she never faced the issues people face at that age.

The song came on the radio this week. I did not turn it off. I just wanted to remember her. Even if it hurts, sometimes I just want my mind on her. But today I heard it from a different viewpoint. Everyone has struggles. Everyone has the potential to let life turn their attitude negative. Everyone could be bitter or angry about something. We all would prefer that some of our struggles could be kept out of view. No one wants everyone to know everything about them. My family is not alone in that.

I have been blessed with a ringside view of some of the most beautiful people I have ever seen. Not perfect. Beautiful. My wife is one of them. We have gone through struggles that everyone has seen. We have also gone through some struggles that only we can see. She has the heart of a lion beating in her chest. Our daughter Aly is simply one of the best people I have ever heard of. There is no explanation for her being raised by us, in the middle of us and turning out the way she has, other than divine design discovered by her willing heart. Korbin continues to blow the lid off of everything I used to think about his limitations. He is as unique as any masterpiece in any collection of art on earth.

I believe God designed me, my wife, our daughters and our son. Assuming that, then our walk was designed by Him, for us. So, my view should always include the perspective of the maker. He designed me. He designed you too. From that perspective, there really could never be a more beautiful you.

What “why is this happening” have you struggled with?

How many times have I judged myself as a failure while living in the middle of the walk my Creator designed for me? I have come to understand that habit not as humble, but as self-defeating.

Challenge

“…turn around you’re not too far to back away, be who you are, to change your path go another way, it’s not too late you can be saved… by the one who’s strong, can right your wrongs, can rid your fears dry all your tears, and change the way you look at this big world. He will take our dark distorted view and with His light, He will show you truth and again you’ll see through the eyes of a little girl.” Jonny Diaz

Rick Claiborn