Two school days

Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.” Proverbs 31:28 NIV

Our son has a habit of knowing how many school days he has to endure before he gets two home days. He loves to be home, which is evidenced by the fact that he usually gets up at around 4:00 am on weekends. During the week, you have to drag him out of bed. As I sit down to write this our son has two school days left, ever. It has the week filled with more emotion than normal. My wife let me know that I could not leave town to work Thursday. She does not want to be the one to deal with the last day.

There was a time when we did not think about Korbin making it through to graduation. I also assumed that if he ever reached this plateau that would be it. It sounds terrible to say that I used to have so many questions about his future I may not have been allowing myself to look forward to it. I have never dreaded it. I just tended to think of it as an unknown for him. That is no longer the case. He has worked his tail off. The team around him worked their tail off. I find myself excited about his future. His future is relevant this week because of graduation. That makes sense, but there is more.

I also had a unique opportunity regarding Mary. Two weeks ago the owner of Bethesda Place called. This is the group home for men located near Hays. Korbin has worked there for the past two summers and is scheduled to be a part of a truly unique experiential program this summer. They have an event called Garden Day every year. They give tours and explain the program to community members who are treated with lunch, live music and just a great atmosphere.

They wanted to recognize a “Mom of the year” and they picked Mary. I know of a lot of great mom’s. I know none better than the tall drink of water I married almost 33 years ago. Any observant husband would tell you that their wife outworks them at home. They worry more. They deal with more issues. They cook more meals. They clean more. They doubt themselves more. They are more tired. They assume more often that they are just not very good at the job.

My wife is not unique in doubting herself. But in every single area that she doubts, I can present volumes of evidence to the contrary. Most husbands do not get the opportunity to just plain shock their wife. This week I did. All I had to tell her was that Bethesda wanted to recognize Korbin. She was all in, no other subterfuge was needed. All the way to them announcing “we want to recognize our mom of the year, would Mary Claiborn please come forward”, she was unaware. It was pretty cool.

Again, we know a lot of great mom’s. Most could have had their name called and deserved it. It was just really fun to see her so shocked. The divorce rate in America is too high. The divorce rate among couples who have lost a child is over 80 percent the last time I looked. The divorce rate among parents of a child on the autism spectrum is over 90 percent. We have had both. Unfortunately, I think it is more often than not that the dad leaves. We’ve never flirted with that end because Mary Claiborn is a unique human.

Dads, I realize I did nothing but answer the phone for this special event. However, I want to urge us all to take more opportunities to praise. First, to praise God for blessing us with a wife. If you ever doubt your wife’s love, strip down to your bare essentials and stand in front of a mirror. Ask yourself if what you see is really dating material. Then, thank your wife who would rather die a slow and painful death than let you or your kids down. Maybe write her a letter or just sit her down and tell her thanks. Mary K. I love you. Two school days left. He did it.

Husbands, do you carry your share of the load around your house? If you do not know that answer, you might not be. If not, when do you plan on starting?

Wives, don’t judge yourself by an impossible standard. Perfection at raising kids is an illusion.

Challenge: Life. It is a lot of work and sometimes our kids act like nimrods. Love life anyway, you probably deserve to be mom of the year.

Rick Claiborn