Victory in Jesus

"I heard and old, old story. How a Savior came from glory. How he gave His life on Calvary to save a wretch like me. I heard about His groaning of His precious blood’s atoning. Then I repented of my sins and won the victory.

I heard about His healing, of His cleansing power revealing. How He made the lame to walk again and caused the blind to see… ”

I really enjoy writing about specific people in my life and today would have been my mom’s 87th birthday, so she is the topic on my heart today. To be honest I know that I can cause someone to be a little embarrassed writing about them. But she passed away now 18 years ago at the age of 69 after a long fight with Parkinson’s disease. So, she isn’t here to protest.

I asked my siblings to describe her. Usually, we are not the most talkative people. One-word texts are common, but one question generated quite a bit of memories about her. I want to share a few of those.

My oldest sister arrived when my mom was just 18 years old. My son Korbin is 18. My dad was serving in the United States Army somewhere in Korea. She was by herself. They had relocated from the farm to Kansas City, so even the location was new.

Her life growing up was hard, farming is always a lot of work. I have no memory of either of my grandfathers. However, I have heard stories that her dad was tough, too much so. Her sister Shirley died young. Mom was diagnosed with Parkinson’s early. She fought hard for decades.

We all remember mom’s faith. Her favorite verse was “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength”. Her favorite song was “Victory in Jesus”, more on that later. She was a prayer warrior. My father apparently spent years avoiding church until her persistence won. I have a brother-in-law who is one of the best people I have ever met but mom worked on him for years before his faith took hold.

My sisters all remembered the garage sale coat she wore for years. I don’t think she liked it that much. Money was just tight, so a new coat was not in the budget. We all remember the goofy part of her. Fats Domino had a song called “I found my thrill on Blueberry Hill.” She made us dance with her to that song over and over.

One of the reasons I wanted to write about her was not how easy she had it or how well everything turned out. She battled anxiety and depression throughout her life. When I say “battled” you may need some context. This is now decades ago, but they used to strap her to a table and shock her – for treatment. It really bothers me to think about it. Can you even imagine? If it didn’t work, they turned it up.

She was medicated and so are many of us. Bupropion is my prescription. Without it I have issues that I cannot reason or pray away. Lately it has been a struggle so this post is timely. I don’t put it out there for any other reason than I have just seen so many people who battle it. The worst part about the battle with it is that it tends to isolate people. Predators isolate victims from the herd. Mental illness can isolate a human right in the middle of a family. Some young people that I love are battling it without the benefit of years long life lessons to help them. Maybe mom’s story can help encourage someone. She would like that.

It got bad enough that my siblings had to be placed outside of the home for a while. I don’t know how long that lasted but it was a while. I guess the neighbors took notice of my dad wandering around with his family in pieces. That house had to seem pretty empty. Had mom not prayed him into church, it may have not turned out well.

I mentioned her battle with Parkinson’s. I remember when she told us about it. It was a long, slow grind. She lived for years knowing how it was going to turn out. She knew her body was going to fail and she watched it slowly do just that. She slept with her arms sort of crossed in front of her face. I remember mornings trying to find an opening to get her medicine to her mouth. There were times she lay there laughing until the medicine started to work. Laughing.

Back to “Victory in Jesus”. At the end of her life she really could not talk clearly because her face would not make the movements needed to do so. It was tough to understand her. Until… a few days before she died she sang the song outloud, clearly. Chilling is a good word. She knew where her ultimate victory would take her and she was ready to go. I think God gave us a little taste of how sweet that victory would be.

What is your biggest battle?

What weapons do you use to fight it? Do people who are close to you know about it? If not, maybe they should.

Challenge: She taught us how to move forward, in spite of how hard things were. She let other people know what her fights were. She taught us to pray until something happens.

Rick Claiborn