Windstorms and Gray matter

For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer.” 1 Peter 3:12 NIV

Two experiences in the last week are meeting in the middle of my mind and heart today. First, we went through the worst storm I have seen. We had sustained winds of around 85 miles per hour. When I say sustained, I mean that was not gusts, that was constant. It also lasted for about 5 hours. It was ruthless.

In wind that bad, power lines can spark and fire can start, resulting in wildfire that burns uncontrolled. It did not get much media attention outside of Kansas, but it burned 400,000 acres. Fire is only satisfied with picking and choosing it’s fuel. Inside of that zone were homes, barns, crops, equipment, and livestock, “were” is past tense. It’s not there anymore.

We have more than one friend in the area hit hardest. A few of us put together a supply run of water and food. I drove there not having any idea what I would see. The countryside is beautiful there, with rolling hills and trees, not exactly the flat horizon our beautiful state is known for. The rolling hills are still there, but grass, trees and livestock were gone. Piles of dead cattle by the hundreds waiting to be removed marked the landscape. I have never seen anything like it.

I called a friend and offered to help but we both knew there really was not much I could do. If you are not able to drive large equipment you are not much help up there. In fact, you can be more in the way than helpful. I know it is a stereotype, but farm families are tough.

While I was there, I saw other people who drove there to just drop cash off at the local church which is sort of a command central right now. I saw people who had lost everything showing up to help others who had also lost everything. People looked absolutely spent. The church building itself was bustling. Inside the foyer had filled with cases of water. Large quantities of food filled the isles of the sanctuary. Even some of the pews were full of food and supplies ready to be picked up. In an odd way, it was quite a beautiful site. The church was full of what people needed. I drove home that day feeling helpless. There are numerous go fund me pages set up. People will try to help, but it will take a long time for people to recover from this. Some won’t.

Then I went out and worked today. I am accustomed to the road, but once in a while I work in town. I knocked on a door that I cannot shake. I have known of him for years. He asked about what I was doing since I “got out” as he called it. He knew of me from my previous job and was thinking of when I left it. He has worked in and around our community for probably 40 years.

He described a recent diagnosis. His mind is on its way to turning gray. I saw my father go through the same journey this man had stepped into. I remember when my dad started to be aware of the decline. He was angry at people and he was not at all that way normally. He became frustrated by what he was able to see in himself. It must have been a pretty daunting thing. The anger ended up succumbing to the gray area and he was more peaceful at least, but still. It is the reason I started to write anything that anyone else would see. There are a lot of people I care about in this world. Just in case I lose my mind, I want people I love to know some things.

I listened today as he described trips he and his wife wanted to take. I told him about places my wife and I have visited. I told him about Coeur d’Alene, Idaho. We have been blessed to go to places all over the world really, but that destination is a contender for the most beautiful place on earth. I hope he makes it through his bucket list while he still remembers.

I am stumped by both events. I can’t do a damn thing to help either. It is so frustrating. I have told people before that I will pray for them and I do. I also remember being able to feel prayer at times in our life. So, why does it seem like such a small thing to say? Why does it seem like such a small thing to do?

I do not know if my prayer makes a difference to anyone but me. Sometimes I wish I could do more, when really that is the best thing for me to do.

I have found that my prayer does not necessarily make me understand, but it does help me realign my heart with my Savior.

Challenge: I have no earthly clue why so many hard things happen. It’s the not knowing that requires faith.

Rick Claiborn