Yellow and Blue make Green

“Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Mark 10:9 NIV

May 19, 1990: the day my wife and I were married. Today marks 30 years. If I were her, I probably would have been bored and left a long time ago. I do not think I am that much fun. But I am so happy she has stayed.

Some marriages struggle. Some do not. Fortunately, I can honestly say that ours does not. We are not perfect, but we are pretty good. The best way I can describe how is this: yellow and blue make green.

Picture a container filled with yellow paint. The color is neither good nor bad. It just is. Everything she had ever said or felt or experienced came together to make a unique and beautiful shade of yellow. Not perfect, but her.

Now picture a container filled with blue paint. Also, neither good nor bad. Just blue. Everything I ever said or felt or experienced came together to make a unique shade of blue. Not perfect, but me.

When we decided that our relationship was permanent, which was well before the wedding date, we agreed to permanently mix our unique colors. What resulted is the most beautiful shade of green I have ever seen. Neither yellow nor blue are bad. In fact, those colors are the very basis for our green. Without those first colors, our green does not exist.

However, once we mixed those colors, we both had to decide to leave yellow and blue in the bottle. It is still there. But once mixed, you cannot ever get back to the original color. We can only reach back to use more color sparingly. It is not the paint in the bottle deciding to come out and influence our picture. It is up to each of us to maintain our color, green. If we have a secret to marriage that is it. My wife thrives in the context of us. That is what you can have too.

Every marriage is different. Everyone comes in with a life. The beauty and artwork of marriage is when both of us use just enough of the previous shade to keep painting scenes in our marriage. Neither yellow nor blue is allowed to have too much influence in our painting unless we are both open to it.

Your base color is also not just your past. Your current work, friends, hobbies, television, social media, worry, expectations and more all have the potential to change the color of your marriage. Hardships now can make a relationship stronger, give it more perspective. But they can also break it. Success now can be a subject of celebrating together or they can be an opportunity for arrogance if you think too highly of your own contributions. In its proper order, nothing is about me. Nothing is about her. Everything is about us. Not perfect, just us. A masterpiece.

Are you letting outside influences have too much impact on the picture of your marriage?

Is your spouse letting outside influences have too much impact on your marriage?

Challenge: Sit down with your spouse or with your significant other, ask them if the color is right.

Rick Claiborn